


Unthinkable

by asiacore



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Styles Twins - Freeform, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-29
Updated: 2013-06-05
Packaged: 2017-12-13 09:00:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/822474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asiacore/pseuds/asiacore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You give me a feeling that I've never felt before and I think I deserve it. It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore and I can't take it. I was wondering maybe, could I make you my baby? If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy or would it be so beautiful? </p><p>Either way I'm saying, if you ask me, <i>I’m ready</i>.</p><p>Or Harry and Ed discover they have not-so-brotherly feelings towards each other and drama ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> based loosely on [the styles twins domesticity meme](http://shipslostatsea.tumblr.com/post/27319498329/made-this-rebloggable-version-for-one-of-the) someone prompted me and the very obvious alicia keys song lyrics which the title and summary come from.
> 
> originally posted [here](http://shipslostatsea.tumblr.com/unthinkable)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It was terrible,” he told the group one afternoon when they were all gathered in the basement. “She tried to molest me. I was under the impression she needed help with her coursework. That’s what she told me and then she led me to an empty room and shoved her tongue down my throat.”

Edward Styles takes pride in being born a full twelve minutes before his twin brother Harry, but doesn’t throw it around in his face as often as he’d like to.

Not that it’s a regular reoccurring feeling or anything. He loves his twin, he really does. Doesn’t know what he’d do without him.

They’re a right buy one get one free if you ask him.

They complete each other.

Ed is rather quiet and a bit more reserved than his twin. He talks in short quips, often cuts off his sentences mid thought and doesn’t like being overtly loud. He likes books and instruments and learning by doing. He’s analytic and always anxious and quite the worrier.

Whereas Harry is a little social butterfly. He talks in slow elongated sentences that leave you on the edge of your seat wondering what he’s going to say next. He thrives on being the center of attention and will do what he has to do to get his way. He is also creative and more open with his emotions.

They are each everything the other is not.

And it just works.

They share a room in their family home just down the hall from their older sister Gemma.

Harry’s bed is pushed up against the wall with the window. He likes to crack it open at night and let the sound of nature lull him to sleep and he likes the way the sun rises and wakes him up rather than the shrill alarm clock Ed keeps on his bedside table.

Mornings are all routine with the pair.

Harry is always up first. He uses the toilet, brushes his teeth then he’s off to the shower.

Ed is quite meticulous. He has to pick out what he’s going to wear for the day first. He’ll wake up to his alarm just in time to hear the water start running in the bathroom attached to their shared bedroom and start to rummage through his wardrobe. He’ll run a hand through sleep matted hair and feel around blindly for his glasses before getting out of bed.

His outfits usually consist of oversized jumpers that are usually tattered at the edges, the kind his parents really wish he’d give away to charity but he can’t seem to part from them. Any pair of pants that were remotely clean is okay with him. Sometimes he’ll sneak and wear Harry’s, not that his twin minded much anyway. Depending on the weather he’ll wear trainers or his favorite pair of Doc Martens he picked up from a secondhand shop a while back.

Once the shower is being shut off he’ll pad into the steamy room with a yawn and a quiet, “Morning Haz,” his voice still scratchy from sleep.

Harry would peek out from behind the shower curtain, all bright eyed with a wide grin spread across his face. “Good morning Ed!” he’ll chirp and dart out to grab his towel before stepping out.

Getting dressed for Harry isn’t quite as easy as it was for Ed.

His clothes are literally everywhere and since their mum told them they had to start doing their own laundry (which neither of them ever do) he’s taken to wearing anything he can get his hands on. It was often flannels, because you never know if those things are actually clean or not, with an old t shirt or tank underneath and a pair of trousers along with trainers.

Once dressed, Harry would attempt to do something with his hair. And it is a halfhearted attempt at best. He’ll towel dry his wet locks and comb it forward before swooping it off his forehead to the right. “Always the right never the left,” he always says to his reflection and smiles when a fully dressed Ed steps out of the bathroom behind him.

They’d head down to breakfast together and their mum would always insist that they eat more because, “You’re so skinny! I’m always afraid one day the wind will blow too hard and one of you will just float away!”

And they were teenage boys with teenage boy appetites, but they just couldn’t gain weight.

They were both rather slim and tall. Ed being about two full inches taller than Harry who denied it, “It’s just your hair. It stands up so you look taller, but you’re not… Is he mum?”

After breakfast they’re out the door. Ed was always grabbing Harry’s bag for him because Harry would forget his own head if it wasn’t attached to his shoulders.

“Cheers, Ed.” They’d share a grin and be on their way to school.

When the weather was nice they’d walk to school.

Harry would talk about anything, everything and Ed would nod and occasionally add to the conversation, but he's always felt like he's best at listening.

Once at school they’d have Homeroom together but then be apart for the rest of their classes up until lunch.

Lunch was always eventful and quite rowdy with their group of friends.

There was Louis who was the oldest. He’s loud and obnoxious and the openly gay drama club president/self-proclaimed ruler of the school who dared someone to say something about it to him. He was dating Liam who was smart, athletic, sensible, and sweet and totally the opposite of Louis. 

Zayn was the alleged “bad boy” of the group, except he really wasn’t. Sure he liked to smoke and wasn’t one to say no to illicit bathroom sex in between classes with random girls, but other than that he was just like the rest of them.

Niall was fairly new to their group but fit in quite nicely. He was talkative, even more so than Harry and Louis combined and his hunger was insatiable. His personality was light and carefree and Ed would be lying if he said that Niall wasn’t sorta kinda his favorite.

They’d sit around their lunch table while Louis ran his fingers through Harry’s hair and tried to ignore Liam and Ed who were usually studying for one of their tests in AP Chemistry which they had together right after lunch. Niall would usually be in deep conversation with Harry about something not so deep and Zayn and Louis would silently plot an escape from their last period.

Once school was over the whole group would usually head to the twins’ house. After greeting their mum they’d all go down into the basement that had been converted into a type of “whatever you want it to be” room which was thankfully sound proof and had a lock on the door.

It used to be a music room when the twins were younger.

Every time their grandparents came over their Nan would have them perform a little song for her. Ed would usually play the guitar or the piano (or anything he could get his hands on really) and Harry would sing and she would clap and cheer and give them both money for being, “such talented young lads!”

Now the room was mostly used for their illegal activities.

Ed wasn’t having any of it when they first started, “We can’t do this we’re only fifteen, none of us are allowed to drink.” He tried convincing them. “Oh my is that marijua—”

Harry clapped a hand over his mouth and yanked him up the stairs to their bedroom.

“What is the matter with you, Ed?” Harry sat him down on his bed.

“What is the matter with me? Did you not see what is going on down there? That’s illegal!” Ed flailed.

“Say it a little louder why don’t you? I don’t think mum heard you.” Harry rolled his eyes.

“What if she finds out though? Surely she’ll tell dad and then we’re dead. Oh God, what if Gemma finds out?”

“Who do you think I got the stuff from?” Harry stared at his twin incredulously. “Yeah Ed, Gem deals alright and if dad didn’t want us in his liquor he should’ve locked up better.”

“I don’t know, this seems like a bad idea.” Ed bit as his bottom lip warily.

“It only seems like that because you haven’t tried it yet.” Harry grabbed his hand and interlaced their fingers in reassurance like he always used to when they were younger. “Come on Ed, you can trust me. I’d never let anything bad happen to you.”

So Ed let him lead him back down into their basement and show him a world beyond school and books and homework and girls.

Speaking of girls.

Ed didn’t hate girls. He thought they were pretty and funny and sometimes smart. But also scary as hell.

That mostly attributed to the fact that a girl tried to snog him in an abandoned classroom when he was sixteen.

“It was terrible,” he told the group one afternoon when they were all gathered in the basement. “She tried to molest me. I was under the impression she needed help with her coursework. That’s what she told me and then she led me to an empty room and shoved her tongue down my throat.”

“I don’t see what the problem is here.” Zayn mumbled into the carpet. But he couldn’t see much of anything since his eyes were closed and he was laying flat on his stomach on the floor.

Niall just laughed and took another hit off the spliff he so eloquently rolled.

“Have some compassion,” Harry slapped the air in the general direction where Niall was sat. “C’mere” he pat his lap.

Ed was just well enough under the influence where all his good judgment was thrown out the window.

Plus he could never say no to Harry anyway.

He padded over across the room and plopped down into his brothers’ lap.

“Did the mean girl hurt you?” Harry asked in a tone that would be mocking if it was anyone other than him.

Ed nodded as Harry began carding his fingers through his hair. He looked around to see Niall staring intently at them while Liam and Louis snogged over on the sofa and Zayn lay face down on the floor, probably sleep.

“This isn’t funny,” he muttered low enough so only his brother heard him.

“’m not laughin’,” Harry shrugged and moved so Ed’s head was laying on his chest. He looked up to where Niall sat unblinkingly looking at him, “What?”

“Nothin,” Niall glanced around at everyone else then back at the twins. “Just a bit weird, is all.”

“It’s not weird.” Harry snapped. “He’s my brother, my twin, okay. It’s my job to make sure he’s alright. To make sure nothing bad happens to him.”

“Whatever, mate” Niall shrugged and that was the end of that conversation. He turned his attention elsewhere and kicked Zayn who was all but dead to the world.

-

On their seventeenth birthday when they were all sat around the dinner table Ed came out to their entire immediate family.

Their Nan nearly choked on her potatoes.

“I need to have a talk with my brother,” Harry stated to the table of shocked family members before rushing them both upstairs. “What is this about Ed? When did you become gay?”

Ed shrugged, “Do you mind?”

“Of course I don’t! Louis and Liam are both gay, why would I mind?”

“You seem upset.”

“Well yeah, I am.” Harry folded his arms on his chest. “How come you didn’t tell me? We’re supposed to tell each other everything.”

“But, I did.” Ed flopped on his brothers’ bed. “I just told you right now.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I’m sorry,” he fiddled with his glasses to avoid looking at Harry. “I wanted to I really did it’s just…”

“It’s fine Ed,” Harry sat next to him and rubbed soothing circles into his back. “I understand.”

Ed just nodded silently.

“So we’ve got to get you laid then.”

“What?” he nearly fell off the bed in shock.

“Yeah we gotta get you some cock!” Harry jumped up.

“Haz, shut up…”

“What’s your type then? Do you like big strong guys that play lacrosse and look like models? No, I don’t think Louis would appreciate you stealing his boyfriend. Or do you like the starving artist type? Do you think Zayn would fancy you shagging him?”

“Harry stop.”

“What? I’m just trying to help you.”

“I don’t need your help. What makes you think I want to have sex with someone?”

Harry deadpanned, “Are you serious right now? What newly gay seventeen year old doesn’t want to get fucked? Unless you’re like… Oh I get it, you’re the one who does the fucking.”

“I’m not a fucking twink you prat.” Ed spat and stood to leave “I don’t need you soliciting me off like some common whore.” He slammed the door shut behind him and made his way swiftly down the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Harry ran after him. They were halfway down the street when he finally caught up with his twin. “Ed,” he grabbed his hand and interlaced their fingers.  _Like always_. “Talk to me, Eddy.”

“Why does it matter?” Ed turned and nearly knocked foreheads with Harry. “I can never get any fucking peace around here! I just want to be left alone, but that’s damn near bloody impossible!”

“Fine,” Harry squeezed his hand, “I’ll cover for you, but you know how mum is, she’ll be worried sick… So just don’t do anything stupid, alright?” his free came darted up to brush at the curls falling on to Ed’s forehead and over his glasses.

“Thanks Haz,”he finally pressed their foreheads together and leaned forward just enough so their noses were touching.

Harry breathed in his brothers’ scent. He always smelled like mint tea and old books and familiarity and _home_. “Love ya, bruv,” he nosed around his neck before pulling away.

Letting him go.

“I love you too.”


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “W-What no you don’t… What’s going on with you Eddy?” Harry tried to grab for his brother's free hand but was shocked when he pulled away. “First you wanted to get away from me and now you can’t stand the sight of me? Well newsflash you look just like me so there’s no escaping it!”

Luckily for Ed and much to Harry’s dismay their birthday was on a Friday. So he avoided going home for the entire weekend and had his twin ready to rip his hair out and call the police and maybe jump off a cliff because “ _where is he?_ ”

They’d never been separated from each other for more than a day since birth.

All trips were taken together and they both tended to get sick around the same time, so there was no need for them to actually be apart.

Plus Ed went and turned his phone off and Harry automatically assumed the worst.

“He’s probably dead!” Harry cried into the phone while he paced back and forth in their shared bedroom. “Or worse, someone probably has him locked up in their basement and is torturing him and poor Ed he probably isn’t even fighting back, they’re probably using him as some sort of sex slave. Oh I’ll kill him. I’ll bloody massacre the bloke that dare touch my bro—”

“Harry you need to relax.” Liam told him. “You are overreacting, okay? I’m sure he’s fine.”

“No you don’t get it. He hasn’t called me and his phone has been off. He doesn’t ever just  _not_  call.”

“That’s a double negative and look maybe you should just calm down and think about why he wanted to be left alone in the first place.”

“He needed some space! I get that, okay, but actually I don’t get that…” Harry stood in front of Ed’s bed. “What’s going on Li? He used to tell me everything and then the whole gay thing happened and he just left.”

Liam sighed, “Maybe you shouldn’t refer to him coming out as ‘the whole gay thing’—”

“-because that is rude and you know better than that  _Harold_!” he heard Louis in the background.

“Why am I on speaker?”

“What? Do you not want to talk to me? After all we’ve been through—”

“Bye Louis,” Harry hung up on them and threw the phone down on his brothers’ bed before flopping down face first.

It was Sunday night and he still hadn’t heard from Ed.

Their mum was starting to catch on to his little game as well. He tried throwing on one of his twins’ jumpers and an old pair of glasses and throwing his voice round dinnertime yesterday just long enough to mumble that he wasn’t hungry and run back upstairs to change into his own clothes and join the family. But that was nearly a disaster.

Anne was knocking at their door after washing the dishes trying to see if Ed was alright. Harry nearly had a heart attack rushing over under the covers and turning his back to the door before she entered. She had asked if he was alright and he told her, “I’m fine mum, just not hungry is all.”

“Well you tell me if you need anything, dear.” She leaned in to kiss his forhead but he pulled away.

“I might be ill you don’t want to kiss me!” he mumbled into Ed’s pillow.

“If you’re feeling sick Ed you should—”

“It’s fine, mum! Harry is taking care of me he’s just in the toilet right now!”

“Is Harry feeling ill as well?”

“No, he’s fine mum, please. I just want to sleep now.”

“That’s strange, you two are usually always contracting sicknesses together. But I’ll leave you to it. Goodnight, love.”

“Night mum,” Harry let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when she shut the door behind herself.

After that, he made sure he was especially careful not to encounter any of his family members at all.

-

It was late Sunday night, hours after he ended the call with Liam and Louis when he got the call.

“’lo?” Harry answered his phone without even checking to see who was calling.

“Sorry to wake you mate,” Niall whispered on the other line.

“I wasn’t sleep,”

“What? It’s half two in the morn’” Niall sounded rather sleepy himself.

“Yeah well, I can’t seem to fall asleep these days…” Harry trailed off, “Is there a reason you called me at this unholy hour?”

“Oh yeah, right. You know your brothers been here the past few days—”

“WHAT?” Harry jumped up, “And you didn’t think to contact me before now?” he scrambled to pull on a pair of trousers and a shirt. “I’m coming over.”

“Wait,” Niall stopped him. “Ed told me not to tell you. Says he didn’t want you bugging him.”

“W-what?”

“Not my words mate, his.” Niall shrugged as if Harry could see him. “Look, I just needed to tell you. I felt like you needed to know he’s alright. So yeah.”

“Why would he say that?”

“Not sure, Haz. Look I gotta go before I wake him up.” Niall glanced at Ed who was curled up in his bed. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sure,” Harry listened to Niall hang up and sat staring out the window on his bed.

_Why had Ed told Niall that he didn’t want Harry bugging him?_

_-_

Harry got no sleep that night and was downright miserable the next morning at breakfast.

“Where’s Ed?” their older sister Gemma had asked while before biting into a piece of toast.

“I suppose he left for school already, I don’t know.” Harry shrugged. He was done pretending.

“Without you?”

“We don’t  _need_  to be together 24/7 we’re not attached at the bloody hip!” Harry snapped.

“Sorry for asking.” She mumbled into her breakfast as their mum came out of the kitchen.

Harry downed a glass of orange juice she set out next to his plate and turned to leave, “’M not really hungry.” He waved a hand behind him, “Bye mum, bye Gem.”

He walked to school alone and sat at his and Ed’s desk in homeroom alone and nearly lost it when their teacher asked, “Where’s your brother?”

“How am I supposed to know?”

“Well you two do live in the same household, I just thought—”

“Yeah, well you thought wrong.”

That statement got him a nice after school detention and Harry was not looking forward to that.

He wasn’t looking forward to lunch with the lads either.

Except when he saw a flash of blonde hair and eyes as green as his peering from behind him he nearly jumped out of his skin with excitement.

“Eddy!” he attacked his brother and nearly missed knocking his lunch over everywhere.

“Hey Haz,” Ed mumbled into his brothers’ hair.

“I missed you so much.” Harry still had his arms wrapped tightly around his twin. “Never leave me again.”

“Yeah, I uh- I missed you too,” he pulled away and looked into his younger brothers’ eyes. “I’m sorry, about what happened. Yeah, sorry.”

“No it’s fine I get it you needed time… away from me. I get it. Just don’t do it again.”

“Sure thing,” Ed pulled away and sat next to Niall at their table.

Harry sat across from his brother and tried his hardest not to stare at him while he ate.

Lunch carried on as always. Harry and Zayn were discussing the importance of a nice pair of breasts when Louis threw a chip at him.

“What was that for?” Harry picked the chip out of his curls.

“No talking about tits when I’m trying to eat!” he screeched from his seat next to Liam.

“Why not you’re acting like a right tit anyway!” Zayn ducked when a pencil was thrown at him.

“You nearly put my eye out Tomlinson!” Harry reached down to pick up the pencil and throw it back when the sight of Ed’s left hand clutched in Niall’s right stopped him short. “What’s going on here?” he yelled from under the table.

“What are you on about?” Liam asked.

“I’m talking to them,” he pointed at Ed and Niall, “why are you two holding hands underneath the table?”

Louis was the first to answer, “Why are you freaking out?”

“No one was talking to you.” Harry snapped.

“I wasn’t aware I needed your permission to hold anyone’s hand.” Ed bit back.

“W-What no you don’t… What’s going on with you Eddy?” Harry tried to grab for his brothers free hand but was shocked when he pulled away. “First you wanted to get away from me and now you can’t stand the sight of me? Well newsflash you look just like me so there’s no escaping it!”

“Maybe it’s not you I’m running away from.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

But Ed was already up and pulling Niall away to follow him.

“I’ll see you at home, Haz” Ed waved and they were off out into the hallway.

Still hand in hand.

And Harry couldn’t help how much he wanted to hit Niall.

“No, no” Harry shook his head. Three pairs of eyes set intently on him.

He didn’t want to hit Niall, he wanted to  _be_  him.


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Liam and Louis saw it coming before it actually happened. Liam told him, “Be careful, I don’t think either of you realize what you’re getting yourselves into.” And Ed had no clue what he was talking about at the time.

Things were at the least tense after that. The twins tried to more or less avoid each other which was almost impossible considering their living situation.

The lads all still came over after school and Ed would usually try and stay down there with them, but would eventually get fed up and storm up the stairs with Niall in tow while Liam and Louis shared a look that Harry would ask Zayn about but only get a shrug in response.

Harry spent most of his free time with Zayn nowadays.

They’d go out on the weekends, and get trashed and fuck nameless girls whose faces they never got a clear view of and this was all customary for Zayn but it was something new and exhilarating for Harry.

Something to ease the pain.

The same pain Ed felt when he’d have to cover for his brother while he was out up to no good and his parents came knocking to make sure everything was alright.

Because their parents knew something was up. Everyone knew.

Rumors were whispered when they’d walk down the halls, not with one another but separately. Seemingly pulling their group apart, but holding on to the seams of their friendship with all their might because that’s all they’ve got.

Ed feels as though he’s lost his brother, and he can’t stand the thought of losing everyone else as well. Which is why he clings to Niall with all he’s got and he appreciates that he never pushes him away for doing so.

Liam and Louis saw it coming before it actually happened. Liam told him to, “Be careful, I don’t think either of you realize what you’re getting yourselves into.” And Ed had no clue what he was talking about.

Until that night when Harry climbed out of their bedroom window when he thought Ed was asleep and soundlessly left him there alone. Ed couldn’t take it anymore.

He got up and left. Just like that in nothing but his pajamas and ran and ran straight to Niall’s house. He’d left his phone at home along with his glasses in his haste, “shit,” Ed mumbled to himself before deciding to go at this old school and wake Niall up the old way.

With pebbles in hand that were collected from the dirt in the front garden, Ed began throwing them at the window in an attempt to get his attention. It didn’t take long for Niall to open the window in all of his sleepy glory and Ed almost broke down right there.

All it took was a glance between the two and Niall nodded indicating that he’d meet Ed at the front door.

As soon as Niall opened the door Ed fell useless in his arms babbling nonsense about his brother.

“Hey Ed, shh it’s okay.” Niall shut the door behind him and sat them both on the bench on his porch so they wouldn’t wake his parents.

“No it won’t be,” Ed cried. “He hates me! He won’t talk to me or look at me or even acknowledge my existence and this is all my fault! I didn’t mean to push him away but I did and now—”

“Harry is overreacting alright, ask Liam. You didn’t force him into any of this binge drinking or whatever he’s doing. Zayn doesn’t even do all that, he thinks he’s getting pretty out of hand.” Niall pulled Ed closer in the chilly night air. “None of this is your fault.”

They sat in relative silence after that. Ed only sniffling into Niall’s sleep shirt while Niall tried his hardest not to fall asleep on his friend.

“Thanks,” Ed mumbled into Niall’s shoulder some time later.

“No problem,” Niall smiled sleepily at the younger boy. “You know I’m always here for you.”

“Yeah,” Ed pressed his grin into his own jumper. “You’ve always been here for me.”

“And I always will be, Ed.” Niall ruffled the curls at the nape of Ed’s neck and let his hand rest there, both of them sighing in contentment.

Ed leaned forward and tilted his head up to get a better look at the boy before him. Without his glasses he couldn’t see much of anything, but the close proximity between the two allowed him to see the barely there freckles dusted across his cheeks underneath his eyelashes that were spread out like hand fans.

Why couldn’t he love Niall? He had all the qualities he liked in a guy.

Nice eyes and an even nicer smile and an infectious laugh and a laidback personality. Someone who doesn’t try to be what people want him to be. But just tries to be himself.

Niall blinked, “’m still awake,” he mumbled and grinned lazily at the boy in his arms.

“Barely” Ed laughed and felt the a chuckle rumble through Niall, tell-tale signs of one of his loud guffaw burrowed underneath layers of sleep.

“Tryin ta stay up jus—” he was cut short when Ed surged forward and attached their lips.

It took him a while but Niall woke up and  _caught_  up. He pulled Ed closer so his head was lolling back now, Niall pressing harder into the kiss.

It was nice. It was something Ed could see himself doing with Niall every day.

They could be a thing like Liam and Louis and they could hold hands in public and call each other cheesy pet names and Ed could do this.

“Eddy?”

Except he couldn’t do this.

“Shit,” Ed pulled away and reluctantly turned to the accusing voice.

Only one person called him that.

“Wow…” Harry shook his head in disbelief.

He definitely couldn’t do this.

Not with the way Harry was staring at them.

“I went home,” Harry lurched forward, “To talk to you, but you weren’t there.”

“Harry I—”

“So I thought, maybe you came to Niall’s. Cause that’s all you ever do now. Talk to Niall and spend all your time with Niall. And I always thought what do they do together? Do they ever talk about me or have a laugh at my expense? But it turns out you spend most of your time snogging the shit out of each other’s faces!”

Ed winced at his brothers’ use of language. Harry never swears, so he has to be pretty upset (or drunk) to do so.

“Zayn told me not to come. He said, that Liam said I should just leave you two alone.” Harry laughed bitterly, “But fuck Liam, I said! He doesn’t know anything about me and my brother, I said!”

“You’re going to wake—”

“But boy was I wrong.” He was at the foot of the porch steps now.

“Harry this isn’t what it looks like.” Niall was the first to get a word in, raking his hands through his messy bed hair.

“So you weren’t giving my brother CPR? Because that’s exactly what it looked like!” Harry said sarcastically.

“Haz please,” Ed stood. “Why can’t I have this?” he asked.

“Have what? Niall? I don’t care what you two do!”

“Then why are you so angry?!”

“Because you didn’t tell me about it!” Harry yelled, and Niall was sure his parents, and the rest of the neighborhood were up now. “You didn’t tell me you were gay and you didn’t tell me you didn’t want me ‘bugging you’ and you didn’t tell me that you’re dating Niall! You don’t tell me  _anything_ anymore!”

Harry was up the stairs in an instant, an accusing finger pointed right at his twin as they stood face to face. “When did it become Niall and Ed instead of Harry and Ed? What happened to us?” he spoke low enough that only his twin could hear. “I love you Eddy. Why are you doing this?”

“I love you too Haz, but have you ever thought that maybe someone else could love me too?” Ed grabbed the hand pointed at him and laced their fingers. “Someone that isn’t you?”

Someone who could love him more than a brother was allowed to?

“I’ll always love you Haz, you’re my brother.” Ed brought their hands up this lips and kissed the back of his twins’ hand. “But that’s it. We’re just brothers.”

Harry felt like he’d just been punched in the gut. Punched by his very own. His twin his flesh and blood,  _his other half_. He yanked his hand out of Ed’s grasp and glanced back at Niall who just sat quietly watching the two.

“I hope you two have a great life together.” Harry spits and quickly turns to leave.

He’s gone in an instant, just the faint smell of liquor and the tight restricting pain in Ed’s chest as a reminder that he was ever there in the first place.


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They stay like that for a while. Long enough for Ed to stop crying and settle his hands on Harry’s waist. His thumbs rubbing the expanse of skin above Harry’s jeans where his shirt had ridden up. Harry is the first to pull away, he leans their foreheads together, his expression solemn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the chapter where i magically go from past tense to present oops but at least we're finally getting somewhere

Their mum, Anne, tries to stage an intervention of sorts.

She realizes there’s something going on between her boys that they won’t talk to her about, but she can’t stand to see them clearly upset with one another. So she decides that locking them in their room with a promise of them being grounded until they leave for Uni if they don’t work things out this instant is the way to go about the situation.

“This is bollocks,” Ed mumbles to himself from his perch on his bed, his back facing Harry who is stood at the door jingling the handle.

“I can’t believe she actually locked us in here!” Harry says to no one in particular and gives the door a hard kick for good measure.

Ed pulls out his cell phone and shoots a quick text to Niall that reads, _‘literally locked in the room with Harry, kill me xx’_ he looks up to see his brother staring at him with cinched eyebrows.

Harry looks as if he’s about to say something but is cut off short when Ed’s phone buzzes in his hand.

 _‘lol sorry babe u’ll survive haha (:’_  Niall replies and Ed flips his phone shut and sighs.

He and Niall had been properly dating for about a month since the night of his and Harry’s big argument at Niall’s place. Things were obviously still tense between them, but things between him and Niall were better than ever.

Niall was too nice and too easy to get along with. He was always too willing to go with the flow and too interested in Ed’s happiness and wellbeing.

In short, he was too much like Harry.

Which was actually what he needed at the moment. Especially since the real thin won’t talk to him, or rather he won’t let him talk to him.

Ed honestly cannot stand the way Harry looks at him through the side of his eyes or talks to him about his day every night when he thinks Ed is asleep. He cannot stand the way he hardly smiles anymore or the fact that the reason why his smile has disappeared is  _him_.

Harry huffs loudly when Ed’s phone buzzes again,  _‘mb u shuld talk 2 him (:’_  Niall says and Ed throws his phone down on his bed in favor of an actual response. Harry gets a similar text not even from seconds later from Louis that says, ‘TRY NOT TO BE A TWAT & MAKE UP W UR TWIN!!!’

“Do you think I’m a twat?” Harry blurts out, eyes locked down on his phone, refusing to look at his brother.

“What?” Ed asks incredulously, “Of course not, you’re my brother.”

“I’m your  _twin_.” Harry corrects him.

“Right,” Ed nods, “we may not get along sometimes, but… I still love you.”

Harry looks up at that, eyes guarded. “I love you too, Eddy,”

“Then why are we fighting?” Ed asks.

“Because you won’t let me love you,” Harry starts, “the way I want to.”

Ed swallows down any reply he originally had thought of because,  _what_? Does this mean what he thinks it does?

“I don’t follow you…” he goes to clean his glasses just so he doesn’t have to look Harry in the eyes.

“I love you Eddy,” Harry repeats. “I love you a lot, more than life itself, but you already know that.” He continues when Ed nods. “I know this is all new and weird and probably illegal, but I can’t help the way I feel about you.”

Ed puts the glasses back on his face with shaky hands, “I love you too Haz, more than you could ever know, but I can’t do this.”

Harry frowns, “Do what, Ed? We aren’t doing anything.”

“Don’t you get it?” Ed hops up, “that’s the problem, Harry. Do you think I want to be like this? In love with my brother? My  _twin_ , because I don’t.”

“Why fight the feeling?” Harry hops up too and suddenly they’re face to face. “Think of what we could be, Eddy, together.”

Ed groans, “Harry stop,” he steps back and puts a hand on each of Harry’s shoulders. “I’m with Niall now and we’re happy together.”

“Are you really, Ed? Are you really happy with him?” Harry narrows his eyes, malice taking over his features at even the mention of Niall.

“I am,” Ed says, because he is. “I think I may even love him.”

“BULLSHIT!” Harry says loud enough that the neighbors down the street could hear him. “You aren’t in love with  _Niall_ ,” he spits. “You’re in love with me but just too chicken shit to act on it.”

“Who are you to tell me who I do and do not love?” an identical frown takes over Ed’s face.

“I’m your fucking twin and I bloody well will tell you when you’re lying to yourself!” Harry shoves him off.

“Stop swearing at me!” Ed yells because Harry never used to swear at him but that’s all he can seem to do as of late.

Harry deflates, if only for a second, before stepping back into his brothers’ space, “Stop being so stupid!”

“I’m not being stupid,” Ed sighs. This is all too confusing and Harry keeps yelling at him and he has a headache and he just wants to cry.

So he does.

“Sshhh Eddy no, please don’t cry, I didn’t mean that.” Harry pulls him in close, wrapping his arm around his twin in a tight hug.

“No you’re right I’m stupid and I don’t deserve Niall or you.” Ed cried into his shoulder. “Especially you, I don’t deserve to call myself your twin. I wish I was never born.”

“Hey,” Harry grabs Ed by the cheeks, “look at me,” he says and pulls his head back so they’re face to face.

They’re close enough that their noses are brushing and Harry can feel Ed huffing out little breaths as he continues to sob.

“Eddy,” he tries to calm him, but it’s not working and he begins to panic.

Harry surges forward and captures his brothers’ lips in a kiss, silencing his sobs. He moves a hand to the nape of his neck when Ed melts into this kiss, his other hand moving to tangle in his identical curls.

They stay like that for a while. Long enough for Ed to stop crying and settle his hands on Harry’s waist. His thumbs rubbing the expanse of skin above Harry’s jeans where his shirt had ridden up. Harry is the first to pull away, he leans their foreheads together, his expression solemn.

“Don’t you ever say anything like that again,” he murmurs against Ed’s lips.

Ed nods, “Okay,” he tilts forward silently asking for another kiss and Harry obliges.

“I love you Eddy, I really do.” Harry says when they part again.

“I love you too Haz,” Ed says and smiles so bright that his glasses start to slip down his nose.

Harry mimics his smile and starts to nose around Ed’s neck, breathing in his scent and sighing content.

“But,” Ed says and Harry stills, “where does this leave us? I mean what are we now? Does this make us—”

“We’re brothers.” Harry tells him, he doesn’t want to label them and prematurely ruin whatever this is that they may have.

Ed shakes his head and Harry frowns up at him.

“We are twins.” He says.

Harry beams at that and moves to kiss him again. “Right. Twins.”


	5. five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed takes a shaky breath and moves to adjust his glasses but is cut off by his brother launching himself at him. Before he can even push him off or back away because for fucks sake they’re at _school_ , Harry pulls away and grips the back of his head, “Eddy please,” he presses their foreheads together, “for me?”

“So I take it you two have finally kissed and made up, am I right?” Louis asks them the next day at lunch.

Ed goes bright red and starts stuttering as Louis plops down in his usual seat next to Harry.

“Yes we quite literally have,” Harry says and flings an arm around their eldest friends’ shoulder. “Would you like a kiss too?” he puckers his lips in Louis’ general direction.

Louis halfheartedly bats him away with one hand, “No thanks, I’m taken.” He looks to Liam for help but he’s just sniggering into his hand. “Useless,” Louis mutters as he rolls eyes but smiles at him anyway.

No one thinks twice of Harry’s comment even though Ed is still buzzing in his seat, afraid that at any moment they’ll be caught and cast off from the group.

Louis would probably the first to find out and convince Zayn that they’re better off without them, since they do everything together anyway. Of course Liam will go with whatever Louis says and Niall will just feel so betrayed and  _Niall_.

Niall who is sat next to him with an arm around his shoulder rubbing circles where jumper has started to fray a bit. Niall who is laughing at something Harry had just said, unaware that he’s the enemy.

Sighing, Ed closes his eyes and leans his head on Niall’s shoulder in an attempt to find some sense of clarity, but only feels worse when Niall pulls him in closer and turns his head down to ask, “You alright?”

“Peachy,” Ed smiles weakly up at him and when Niall smacks a kiss onto his forehead he can’t help but grin a little.

So yeah, he maybe in love with his brother— his twin, who is staring at them so hard that if looks could kill, Niall would very well be dead— but he still likes Niall a lot.

Niall with the big heart and even bigger smile. Niall who has been there for him throughout his entire big incestuous discovery.

He can’t just very well dump the guy can he?

He tells Harry as much when he’s yanked into the toilets against his will two minutes before class starts.

“It’s not that hard,” Harry whispers even though they’re the only two in there.

“What if I don’t want to dump him?” Ed huffs, “We aren’t even officially dating yet!”

“That’s even better!” Harry hisses, “Just tell him that whatever it is you have is over.”

Ed stares calculatingly at his twin, “And what if he asks why? Am I supposed to tell him that I can’t be with him anymore because I’m in love with my brother?”

“You don’t have to tell him anything!” Harry throws his arms up in despair.

“Yes I do Harry, I owe him that—”

“Bollocks!” Harry shouts, “You don’t owe him anything!”

Ed takes a shaky breath and moves to adjust his glasses but is cut off by his brother launching himself at him. Before he can even push him off or back away because for fucks sake they’re at  _school_ , Harry pulls away and grips the back of his head, “Eddy please,” he presses their foreheads together, “for me?”

“Yes, of course, Ed nods, “for you,” he reaches up and presses a calloused thumb against his brothers’ bottom lip, “anything for you.”

“Good” Harry smiles and presses another kiss to his lips against his better judgment. “I love you Eddy,” he mumbles into chapped lips.

Love you too, Haz,” Ed smiles, “but we gotta get to class. ‘m already late because of you.”

“Let’s skip,” Harry says and moves his hand down from his brother’s neck to his arm in case someone were to walk in. “We can ditch the rest of the day and head home. Mum and Gemma won’t be there for a while so we could—”

“Absolutely not,” Ed stops Harry with a hand to his mouth but slides it down to his chest when Harry licks his pal. “Gross,” he relents, “but that’s a terrible plan anyway. You know the lads always come over after school so with that being said, I’m going back to class and you should too.”

“But—”

“Nope,” Ed pulls away and turns for the exit because he knows if he doesn’t leave now he will let Harry sucker him into doing what he wants. “Let’s go,” he slings his bag over his shoulder as he grabs Harry’s and hands it to him, “off to class with you.”

Harry looks as if he’s about to protest but settles with a smile and nod. He smacks Ed on the bum on their way out and tries not to grin and the unmistakable yelp he lets out into the empty hallway.

-

After school they all go the twins’ place as per usual and Harry is getting his ass handed to him in Fifa, so obviously it’s a normal day.

Except, “What’s up with you Harry?” Liam asks and Louis nods from his perch, draped all over him, “Yeah you suck more than usual today.”

“Oh shut up,” Harry glares at the latter but there’s no malice behind it.

Louis laughs and sits up properly “Come tell Uncle Lou what’s on your mind,” he pats his lap and Liam shakes his head vehemently.

“I don’t think you can offer a seat on your lap to someone when you’re on someone else’s lap,” he pokes at Louis’ side, “it doesn’t work like that.”

“Awe, quiet Payne!” he bats his boyfriends’ hands away from his general vicinity. “Plus, you’re a big boy, you can handle it. Come hither young Harold!”

“Nah,” Harry shakes his head and puts down his controller, “I’m good.”

Ed and Niall had long since retreated to Harry and Ed’s shared bedroom and Zayn was passed out on the floor so Harry had no way out of the impending conversation. He really didn’t like the way Liam and Louis looked at one another and had one of their infamous silent conversations before turning back to him.

“When did you start hiding stuff from us, Harry?” Louis opts for the guilt trip as his first tactic and Harry can’t be swayed that easily.

“I’m not hiding anything,” he lies and decides that the loose string in his jeans is far more interesting than the eyes that are seemingly piercing right into his skin.

“Is this about your brother?” Liam dives right in for the kill and Harry can’t help that his immediate reaction is to visibly tense up.

“No…” Harry very determinedly refuses to look up.

Liam clears his throat, “More specifically, is this about you and your brother?”

Harry’s head snaps up at that, “What? What about us?”

“I don’t know, you tell us.” Louis shrugs and turns in Liam’s lap so he’s completely faced Harry.

“There’s nothing going on between us?” Harry tries because he’s not sure where they’re going with this conversation.

“So you two are alright?” Louis asks.

“Yeah, we’re fine.” Harry nods as convincingly as possibly because they  _are_  fine, they’re more than fine really. “We talked about this earlier, remember?”

“Sure,” Liam starts and Harry is so sure that he’d rather be doing anything other than having this conversation right now. “But you’ve all been acting weird since whatever happened at Niall’s house.”

“Which all three of you refuse to talk about!” Louis cuts in, “And that counts as hiding secrets from us, especially me of all people, I mean honestly I should be the first to know.”

“Right,” Liam pats Louis’ thigh to appease him. “You know you can tell us anything, right Hazza?”

Harry knows that, of course he does. They’re his best mates and they’ll love him regardless blah blah whatever. But he doesn’t think this counts under that type of circumstance. This is something completely different that none of them will get and he doesn’t want to talk about it.

“It’s nothing.” Harry shakes his head and averts his gaze to Zayn who is still on the floor but now he’s twitching in his sleep. He kicks at him a little hoping that if he wakes up he’ll help him distract Liam and Louis.

Zayn’s hand darts out and he wraps his fingers around Harry’s foot from where it’s prodding at his leg and yanks him down onto the floor.

And Harry smiles in success.

“What do you want?” Zayn mumbles half into the carpet and half into Harry’s curls.

“Just wanted to see your beautiful face,” Harry beams and slaps him on the cheek for his troubles.

Zayn moves to dig his fingers into Harry’s stomach but is too slow because Harry has already rolled on top of him and is pinning both of his hands up above his head with one of his own. But Zayn is quite dexterous and wraps a leg around Harry’s back that has him falling forward with a huff.

It’s at that exact moment that Ed and Niall stumble down the stairs and the former stops dead in his tracks at the sight before him.

“You two done snogging then?” Louis grins eyeing their kiss bitten lips and Harry freezes immediately.

His head snaps over to where Ed is stood with Niall’s hand at the small of his back, both of them looking as debauched as ever.

“Shut up,” Niall mutters but is grinning like the cat that caught the canary. “Seems like we missed a lot.”

“Yeah,” Ed agrees, breathless, “What is this then?”

“It’s nothing,” Harry shakes his head immediately.

“Get off me then!” Zayn’s batting Harry’s curls out of his face as he unwraps his leg from around him and pushes him off.

“You sure it’s just nothing?” Niall raises his eyebrows suggestively.

Harry glares at him as he spits out a, “fuck off,” and shoulder checks him as he storms up the stairs and out of the room in a quiet fury.

“What just happened?” Niall asks, genuinely confused and Liam just shrugs.

“It was just a bit of roughhousing you know,” he explains. “Harry is just in one of his moods, its best we just leave him be.”

But Ed’s already gone, halfway up the steps right after his brother.


	6. six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is impossibly quiet inside when Ed leans his head up against the door. He tries at the doorknob but it’s locked and he figures he’d ought to leave him be if that’s what he wants.

“Harry,” Ed calls after his brothers’ rapidly receding figure. “Haz! Wait up!”

Harry visibly tenses but doesn’t stop moving. They both get to their room and only then does he turn around and acknowledge him. “What happened?”

“I-uh,” Ed stumbles in his haste to close and lock the door behind them.

“You kissed Niall.” Harry deadpans.

Ed nods, “I—well we, uh yeah, we… did that.”

“Was this the first time?”

And Harry knows it isn’t. Not with them constantly sneaking away for prolonged amounts of time. He just needs to hear him say it.

“No,” Ed mumbles but rushes forward to explain himself before he can furthermore upset his brother.

 _Of course_ , Harry thinks. What else would they be doing? Homework?

Harry is upset.

He’s so upset that the only thing he can think to do is crowd in close to his brother. He grips tight at the hem of his sweater and takes in large gulps of breath in order to calm himself.

Ed is talking.

His words are fast and clipped. He’s trying to get as much out as possible in a limited amount of time, but Harry isn’t listening. Nothing makes sense. All he hears is an incessant buzzing and the thump, thump, thumping of his heart. He can feel the blood rushing through his veins and he wants to scream.

But instead he silences his brother with a hard kiss.

Harry figures this is how all of their kisses will go on for the rest of their lives. Hot and wet and tongue and teeth and fast and  _hard_  and he’s never wanted anyone more than he wants his twin brother right now as he licks into his mouth.

Ed fists his hands in the curls at the very top of Harry’s head leans in closer. He sighs when Harry bites at his lip and starts to slow down and all but whines when he pulls away.

“Does he kiss you like that?” Harry mumbles and Ed physically relents.

“What?”

“You heard me,” Harry closes his eyes, “does Niall kiss you like this?” he leans in again and presses against his lips, softer this time.

He leads them back until he’s got Ed on their bedroom wall with his body pressed flushed against him.

Ed’s head is swimming and he can’t think straight, much less give his brother an actual answer. He settles for shaking his head and dives in for another kiss when he feels Harry smirking into it.

Harry slides a hand to the front of Ed’s jeans and palms at his dick which is already semi erect. When Ed doesn’t pull away he pops open the button and gets his hand into his jeans but over his pants.

“Break up with him,” Harry whispers hotly into his brother’s ear and cups at his rapidly hardening dick.

Ed thunks his head against the wall behind him and moans, “I can’t,” he swallows, “I mean we’re— we aren’t—”

“Don’t lie to me,” Harry breathes and dips a finger below the waistband of Ed’s pants. “I know you two are dating.” Ed opens his eyes at that and Harry sees a flash of what must be panic before it subsides into arousal as he reaches and grasps Ed’s dick loosely in his palm. “I know you two are snogging,” he continues, “I bet he wanks you just like this, huh? I bet you let him blow you again afterward.”

Ed moans again louder this time and Harry moves his free hand from his neck to his mouth. “Sshhh,” he pulls his dick completely out of his pants and licks his palm before continuing to fist at it, “I bet he fucks you til—”

“No,” Ed mumbles from around the hand Harry has on his mouth. “We’ve never, I’ve never, you know…”

Harry just nods but lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and readjusts his grip so it’s firmer. “Good,” he says and twists his hand causing Ed to thrash his head back again and moan even louder. “I wanna be your first.” Harry tells him, his voice hardly even a whisper now. He’s got his mouth pressed up against Ed’s ear while he continues to pull at his dick that’s trapped between them as Ed scrambles to pull him in closer.

“Want you,” Ed moans, “want you so bad, Haz please.”

“You gotta break up with him first,” Harry says and twists his and again.

“Fuck, yes okay,” Ed nods and pulls at his face until they’re kissing again. “Yes, for you, anything for you Haz, please,” he moans into his mouth, “’m so close.”

“Well then come,” Harry says and almost immediately Ed shakes and comes hot between them staining their shirts and confirming that they’ll have to do laundry sometime within the week.

“Love you,” Ed murmurs and pulls Harry’s face forward again, “love you so much,” he kisses any inch of skin he can reach while Harry tucks him back into his pants and buttons up his jeans.

Harry nods, “I love you too, Eddy.”

They kiss lazily with Ed still pressed up against the wall until Harry pulls away and noses at Ed’s neck.

Ed reaches for Harry who is impossibly hard and looks almost cross when Harry pulls away from his touch, “Let me,” he says, “I wanna,” he gestures and pouts when Harry steps completely out of his line of reach.

Harry shakes his head, “No, I wanted to do that for you— you don’t have to do anything.”

“No,” Ed is still trying to catch his breath back, “but I want to.”

“Another time,” Harry promises and shuffles into their shared bathroom.

Ed sighs and adjusts his glasses that have since gone crooked. He moves over to his wardrobe and picks out a new jumper to put on since his current one is ruined. After flinging his soiled shirt toward the general vicinity of the dirty clothes hamper he runs a hand through his hair and moves over to the bathroom door.

Harry is impossibly quiet inside when Ed leans his head up against the door. He tries at the doorknob but it’s locked and he figures he’d ought to leave him be if that’s what he wants.

After heaving a big sigh, Ed pushes away from the door and makes his way back down to where the lads are probably wondering what is going on upstairs. He freezes halfway down the steps and considers running back up and maybe throwing himself off the roof because  _what if they heard him?_

He wasn’t being particularly quiet and  _shit_  he needs to evacuate.

Ed turns to run back up the stairs but trips over his own foot and tumbles down the rest of the way. He lands face first in the dirty carpet that smells of old weed and ball sweat and he sighs. He doesn’t bother rolling over until he hears several pairs of feet run over to where he is laid out.

“Ed,” Niall is the first to speak up when he finally rolls over, “y’alright there?”

“’m fine” he smiles and blinks blurrily up at him. He can’t see much of anything and he lifts his hand up to feel his face. “Where are my glasses?” Ed asks out loud and the room is quiet for a beat.

“Don’t know mate,” Liam says and Ed thinks he sees him shrug.

Louis maybe nods and adds, “They were already gone when you nearly brained yourself on the steps here.”

Ed sighs and attempts to sit up but has a wicked case of vertigo and lays back down.

There are a few loud thumps and they all look up to see Harry stood at the bottom of the steps looking flabbergasted.

“What the—” Harry looks down at his brother and back up, “what did  _you_  do to him?” he spits at Niall who has Ed’s head cradled in his hands.

“What?” Niall looks around. “Me? I didn’t do anything.”

“Really?” Harry drills, “Why is he on the floor then? Why did I find his glasses on the steps?”

“Chill Harry,” Zayn steps in, “your brother fell down the steps on his own and we found him laying here like this. Niall didn’t do anything.”

“Why would I be the cause of this?” Niall looks up at him. “Do you really think I’d push my boyfriend down the stairs or something?”

“I don’t think anything of you.” Harry says and moves to place Ed’s discarded glasses back on his face.

“Harry,” Louis chastises him, “What is this about?”

“Nothing,” Ed reaches up and grabs at Harry’s shoulder. “I’m fine, I just tripped is all. You know how clumsy I am.”

Harry’s jaw is still clenched tight but he looks like he’s less likely to haul off and punch someone in the face now.

“Thank you,” he says and pats at his cheek, “you too,” he turns to Niall and gives him a small smile. “I’m alright though, really.”

Niall beams back down at him, “You sure?”

“Yeah, ‘m just a klutz.” Ed chuckles and gasps when Niall leans down to kiss him firmly on the lips.

Harry stands up in a huff at that and exits the room.

Louis leans his head on Liam’s shoulder and sighs, “Things definitely aren’t alright.”

Liam looks between Harry’s retreating figure and Ed who is on the floor doing the same, “Yeah,” he nods, “we’ve got to fix this.”


	7. seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bell rings and they’re so lost in their own world that they don’t even realize that there are people filing out into the hall around them until there’s clapping and Niall pulls away and turns to see both Liam and Louis smiling brightly at them.

“You’ve got to stop,” Ed corners Harry one morning before he can get out of the bathroom.

“What?” Harry asks through the towel that he’s currently using to dry his hair.

“Everyone is starting to notice.” Ed explains, “Niall, especially.”

Harry’s face screws up tight, “Fuck him,” he scowls, “I don’t care what he thinks.”

“Look,” Ed pokes at his chest, “your jealousy is going to ruin everything.”

“There’d be nothing to ruin if you’d just break up with him already.” Harry pushes his hand away and moves past him into their bedroom.

“I’m going to, Harry,” Ed grabs at his arm to spin him back around, “you just need to give me time. This is hard for me, I really like Niall.”

Harry rolls his eyes, “Whatever,” he pulls his arm out of Ed’s grasp and turns to walk away, “don’t expect me to wait for you forever,” he says before throwing his wet towel on the ground and exiting the room.

-

When Ed gets downstairs Harry is waiting for him by the door with his schoolbag slung over his shoulder.

A small but smug smile hints at Ed’s lip and he knows that’s not what he meant, but he was sure Harry was going to leave for school without him.

“You waited.” Ed says at the same time Harry says, “Don’t,” and extends a hand for Ed to grab, “of course I waited.”

Ed smiles and checks over his shoulder then takes his brother’s hand and flips it so his palm is facing up. “Of course you waited,” he nods his head in thanks and kisses all five tips of his fingers before lacing them together and pulling him out the door.

-

They sit next to each other at lunch which isn’t new but it isn’t something they do often either (and the frequent hand holding isn’t either, but thankfully no one’s mentioned that yet). Harry’s got Ed’s right hand in his left under the table and it’s a good thing Ed taught himself how to at least do things semi-decently with his non-prominent hand or else he’d be doomed.

It’s reckless, what they’re doing. Anyone can look under the table and see Harry stroking his calloused thumb over the worn skin of his brother’s knuckle and anyone can see how goofily they grin at each other as they lean in close and whisper things into each other’s mouths because, who needs ears?

But they’ve been going to school with the same kids since primary. The same kids who know how close they are and always chalked their weird behavior up to the fact that they’re twins and that they “just don’t get it.”

Everyone but the four boys at their table, that is.

Harry is surprisingly the first to freeze up. Ed’s going on about a girl in his maths class who he is sure is sleeping with his professor when Harry squeezes his hand under the table. He’d been addressing the entire table but his back was almost completely turned to Niall on his left and it was as if he was speaking directly to Harry.

He turns his head to see Louis right across from him blinking, calculatingly quiet.

That in itself was enough of a warning.

“Do go on,” Louis says when Ed smiles sheepishly at him. “I’d always had a feeling myself that Sharon was fucking at least half of the faculty, but to have it confirmed is another thing.”

“I mean—it’s not,” Ed stutters, “I don’t know for sure, I just, I don’t know I’m assuming she is. It’s really obvious though.” He shrugs and starts to fiddle with his glasses so he doesn’t have to see the look that he knows Liam and Louis are probably giving one another right now.

Harry’s sat across from Zayn who is pointedly not making eye contact with either of them, but instead is looking at Niall whose heart is visibly breaking on his face.

No one’s talking and Harry is squeezing him now and Ed wrenches his chair back, “I uh—” he stops short when both Liam and Louis turn to give him their full attention. “Can I talk to you for a sec?” he asks Niall lamely and breathes a sigh of relief when he nods and follows him out of the cafeteria.

Niall’s quiet which isn’t quite as unusual as Louis being quiet for more than five minutes at a time, but it’s enough to throw him off a bit.

Once they’re in the hallway abandoned but for a few stragglers Ed sighs. He didn’t really have anything to say. He just needed to get out of there, he felt like he was suffocating. Suffocating from Harry’s touch and Louis and Liam and their judging stares and Zayn’s general presence.

“What’s up, Ed?” he hears Niall say and opens his eyes to see that he’s slouching against someone’s locker with Niall pressed in close, looking almost desperate.

“I just, I don’t know?” Ed tries and shakes his head when he realizes how lame that sounds and Niall frowns.

Niall brackets his arms around Ed on the lockers beside him in an attempt of gaining some type of privacy in the hall “You can tell me anything,” he says.

“I know,” Ed sighs and Niall looks so genuinely upset and to know that he’s the one who is making him feel that way is making him physically ill.

“So what’s going on?”

Ed panics, “I like you Niall,” he blurts out. There’s an impending ‘ _but_ ’ that should come next but instead he just nods. “Yeah, I like you a lot.”

Niall smiles at that, “I like you too Ed,  _a lot_.”

“Good,” he smiles when Niall leans in to kiss him. It’s small but sweet and Ed really doesn’t want to give this up. Give Niall up.

Niall is one of the nicest people he’s ever met and he cares so much and he’s hilarious and he really likes Ed a lot.

 _No mood swings_ , Ed thinks and smiles to himself a bit before pulling Niall in for another kiss, this one deeper and full of things he can’t say because of  _Harry_.

Harry

His brother, his twin.

At least loving Niall wasn’t illegal.

And there he goes again with that word.

Love

Does he really love Niall?

“I do,” Ed mumbles against his lips in between kisses.

“Hmmm?” Niall hums and it tumbles out before Ed can even catch himself.

“I love you”

Niall pulls away and Ed’s already thinking of ways to play that off, ways to apologize, but then he’s being pulled out of his thoughts. “I love you too,” Niall grins and it’s so bright Ed thinks his heart may actually be swelling a little.

He does love Niall, he really does.

Maybe not as much as he loves Harry but-

“Love you so much,” Niall says and pulls him in so they’re kissing again.

If it can be called kissing that is, and not the opening scene of some type of amateur porn that Ed definitely does  _not_  watch.

Niall’s got his hands on each side of his face and Ed’s got his on Niall’s biceps squeezing for dear life because he’s not too sure if this entire thing is one big dream or not.

The bell rings and they’re so lost in their own world that they don’t even realize that there are people filing out into the hall around them until there’s clapping and Niall pulls away and turns to see both Liam and Louis smiling brightly at them.

“It’s about time,” Louis says as Liam pulls Ed and Niall into a tight hug and over his shoulder Ed can see Harry frozen stiff behind them with Zayn at his side smiling sadly at him and  _oh_.

Zayn knows, he definitely _knows_ and this definitely  _isn’t_  a dream.


	8. eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Harry,” Ed frowns when he sees Harry’s bottom lip trembling, the telltale sign that he’s about to cry, and bites his own to stop himself from doing the same when Harry turns away. “Harry please, look at me.”

Harry doesn’t stay much longer after that.

He leaves school early and Ed doesn’t want to be there anymore, but doesn’t want to go home and face his brother either. So ends up skipping his last classes with Zayn and they head over to the park that Zayn usually goes to “to clear my mind,” he tells Ed who just nods vigorously, like he understands.

“So uh,” Ed wants to get it out of the way early. Rip it off quick like a band aid. “How do you know about me and Harry?”

“He told me,” Zayn says around a cigarette that he lit when they first started their trek. “Yeah, he was completely pissed, but he told me everything.”

“What?” Ed was dumbstruck. “When?”

“That night he found you at Niall’s. We were out at this party and he got so plastered he started mumbling about you.” Zayn shrugged, “He practically dragged me into a room and then told me everything.”

Ed breathed out a huff, “Oh,”

“Yeah except,” Zayn exhales a puff of smoke above their heads, “now everything has changed.”

“Because of Niall,” Ed says.

“Nah mate,” Zayn shakes his head, “because of  _you_. You told Niall you love him, and I’m not saying you don’t, but you sure as hell don’t love him like you love Harry.”

“I don’t love anyone like I love Harry,” Ed shrugs like its obvious.

“Exactly,” he offers his cigarette and Ed accepts it and takes a long drag before passing it back, “now you need to tell Harry that.”

“But I still love Niall,” Ed sighs.

Zayn laughs and Ed wonders if he should be offended or not, “That okay, Ed,” he tells him, “it is possible to love more than one person you know.”

“Yeah, but Harry—”

“Will understand if you just talk to him.”

Zayn seems to have a lot of insight on incestuous relationships if you ask Ed, and he must have said that out loud because now Zayn’s stopped walking and he’s staring at Ed like he’s sprouted an extra nostril or something.

“Having three sisters keeps you in touch with you emotions and all that, alright?” Zayn says and Ed decides to let it go.

“I guess you’re right,” Ed nods. “Look, I should get home, to Harry, but thanks mate.” Zayn waves him off and Ed all but runs home. When he gets there he makes a beeline straight for his and Harry’s room and then down to the basement and all three bathrooms and only then does he begin to panic because, “where is he?”

Ed checks their parents room, the laundry room, even Gemma’s room (even though she’d kill him if she ever found out he so much as glanced at her door, much less touched her doorknob). Desperate and run almost completely out of ideas he checks the kitchen cabinets and under the couch and he’s nearly given up all hope when he falls out of the sliding door into the backyard.

Harry’s laid out spread eagle on his back with his eyes closed and Ed breathes out a sigh of relief. He shuffles over and lays down text to him, careful to stay silent as to not set him off again.

“So you really love him.” Harry says and its not a question so Ed doesn’t reply. “Guess we’ll never be together now. Not that we could’ve been in the first place, but it still sucks to lose you. To  _him_.”

“But that’s just it Harry, you haven’t lost me. You’ll never lose me, you’re my twin, remember?” Ed turns to face him. “It  _is_  possible to love two people Harry, and I love you in a completely different way than I love Niall, but I really do love you both.”

“This doesn’t change anything,” Harry shakes his head and Ed just wants to shake him or hit or something, _anything_  to make him get it.

“I want to be with you Harry,” Ed says, “forever.”

Harry sighs and doesn’t say anything for a long while. When he finally does speak again it’s so quiet that Ed almost doesn’t catch it. “You have a pretty fucked up way of showing it,” Harry mumbles. “I just… I feel like I’m more into this than you are. I’m always the one initiating things and its starting to feel like I’m forcing you into this.” He finally tilts head to face his brother. “I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“Harry,” Ed frowns when he sees Harry’s bottom lip trembling, the telltale sign that he’s about to cry, and bites his own to stop himself from doing the same when Harry turns away. “Harry please, look at me.”

When Harry doesn’t move Ed sucks up his courage and swings a leg up and over his brothers’ torso until he’s sat on top of him. Harry screws his eyes shut tight and Ed can still see the tears leaking through. He leans down and presses a kiss to each eyelid and braces himself when Harry moves his hands up to his waist. He doesn’t move Ed off of him like he’d thought he would but squeezes tight, so tight that Ed squeaks and his hands drop.

“’m sorry,” he says and his voice is raw like he’s just woken up. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Ed smiles anyway and brushes the hair out of Harry’s eyes before resting a palm against his cheek. “It seems like we’ve both been doing a lot of that lately, huh?”

“I wish things weren’t so complicated,” Harry says and Ed nods.

“They don’t have to be,” he tells him and leans down to press another kiss into his skin, this time his nose.

“But how?” Harry sniffles, “It’s always been you and me—”

“You and I, actually,”

“Whatever,” Harry frowns and pinches at his side. “It’s always been us against the world. But now it’s us and then you and Niall, and it’s not the same.”

“How about we just let things be, and see what happens from there?”

“What about Niall?” Harry asks.

“I’ll tell him, and Louis and Liam too.” Ed nods. “They all deserve to know.”

He almost seems convinced but still shakes his head. “What if they hate us afterward?”

“Then at least we’ll still have Zayn.” Ed tries for a joke and shrugs.

“Okay,” Harry smiles.

“Okay?” Ed repeats.

“Yeah,” he nods and breaks out in a grin when Ed squeals.

“I love you, okay?” Ed leans down and slots their identical lips together. He swipes his thumbs across his cheeks where Harry’s been crying and wipes away unwanted tears. “Don’t you ever forget that.”

“I love you too,” Harry smiles into the kiss and presses his palms against Ed’s hips, “now get off of me you big oaf.” He digs his fingers into his waist and flips them over so he’s lying between Ed’s open legs.

“Hey!” Ed shrieks, “We’re the same size, you jerk.”

“Shut up,” Harry honest to god giggles into Ed’s shoulder.

“Make me,” Ed probes and noses at Harry’s neck until he gets the hint and kisses him again.

They stay like that, lying around in their backyard sharing silent kisses until the boys get there. Louis’ loud enough that he can be heard a house away, probably torturing Niall or something and they both pull away and fix themselves hastily waiting for their arrival.

“You sure you’re ready for this?” Harry asks and Ed nods.

“Yeah,” he smiles and grabs his hands and interlocks their fingers as they walk through the sliding door back into the house. He braces himself against Harry, “Let’s do this.”


	9. nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Niall,” Ed shuffles forward off the chair onto his knees in front of his boyfriend. “I love you Niall, all of that was real.” Harry huffs and Ed sends him a glare and he shuts up immediately. “I love you both,” he continues. “I’m in love with the both of you.”

As suspected when they get into the house Louis’ got Niall in a headlock with Liam trying to goad his boyfriend to let go of “the only blonde we’ve got!”

Zayn punches Liam in the arm for that one because he’s got a blonde streak  _okay_ , but he turns and glances at Ed and Harry’s intertwined fingers and looks as anxious as they both feel.

Ed starts to wish Harry hadn’t given Louis the spare key their mum gave them to the house when they turned 16 as he clears his throat and they all stop and look at him. “What’s this then?” Louis gestures at their hands and drops his arms from around Niall’s neck.

“We have something to tell you guys,” Ed starts and gestures for them all to move into the living room.

Once they’re all sat, Harry and Ed squished together into an armchair with Zayn, Niall, and Louis in Liam’s lap sat on the couch across from them, Harry clears his throat. “So,” he says, “Ed and I, we are… I mean I and he?”

Ed pats at his knee and takes over, “We love each other,”

“Okay?” Louis prods.

“Like a lot,” Harry adds, “like more than brothers should?”

“Like… you’re in love with each other?” Niall blanches and they both nod.

Louis and Liam share a look and Ed gulps.  _Here it comes,_  he thinks,  _this is the end_.

“We assumed as much,” Liam says eventually when they break away and all of them look over shocked at the pair.

“You two,” Louis shrugs, “I mean you’re twins and we don’t get it, but it’s obvious there’s something there.”

“Obvious?” Harry shrieks, he thought he’d been doing a good job at being subtle, but apparently not.”

“Mate,” Zayn says, “you got pissed and told me everything. It was painfully obvious.”

“Wait,” Niall blinks around like he’s lost for a second before speaking up again, “So, I’m the only one who didn’t know about this?”

“Well, technically we didn’t know either,” Louis offers a consoling shrug.

“But no one thought to tell me?” Niall stands. “I mean I’ve been played for a fool this entire time and no one cared enough to fill me in about my boyfriend being in love with his twin brother, wow.”

He looks as if he’s about to make a dart for the exit but slumps back down into the couch as well.

“Niall,” Ed shuffles forward off the chair onto his knees in front of his boyfriend. “I love you Niall, all of that was real.” Harry huffs and Ed sends him a glare and he shuts up immediately. “I love you both,” he continues. “I’m in love with the both of you.”

“So what does this mean?” Niall asks and Ed is surprised he isn’t walking out on him right now. “What happens to us?”

“I don’t know,” Ed says truthfully. He bows his head a bit and fixes his glasses when they go all lopsided. “That’s the hard part,” he mumbles.

“Oh for fucks sake!” Louis shouts, “Why don’t the three of you just—” he makes a gesture with his hands and Harry looks slightly horrified.

“No,” he says from his lonesome spot on the armchair. “That definitely won’t work.”

“You two,” Niall points, “it’s cool you two will always be closer than we’ve ever been.”

“What are you saying?” Ed grabs his hand, squeezes it for his own benefit rather than Niall’s.

“I think you two should go ahead and uh,” he shrugs, “be together?”

“But what about us?” Ed asks and immediately regrets it when he hears Harry grunt behind him.

“We can still be friends, yeah?” Niall smiles wryly. “You’re one of my best mates, both of you actually. I don’t want any of this to change that.”

“Oh Niall,” Ed lurches forward and smothers what he assumes is now his ex-boyfriend but still best friend in a tight hug. “I still love you, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, me too,” Niall muffles into his shoulder. “I always will.”

Ed pulls away and Niall tips his chin and presses a kiss to his lips. It’s short and sweet too much like a goodbye for Ed to feel relieved.

The kiss is over as soon as is begun and Niall’s up in an instant heading out through the front door with Zayn hot on his heels.

“I’ll talk to him,” Zayn says and wraps his jacket tighter around himself before shutting the door behind them.

“Well,” Louis says, “now that  _that’s_  settled, I’ve got a quarter and there’s only four of us so there’s more than enough to go around.”

Harry hops up and grins at him, “Lead the way,” he says and watches as Louis grabs Liam’s hand and pulls him down into the basement. He goes to follow but Ed stops him with a hand to his shoulder.

“Are we really doing this?” he asks warily.

“Yeah” Harry smiles back, “yeah we are. Let’s start off small though, yeah? Just us and we’ll tell everyone else when we’re ready.”

“Okay, yeah,” Ed nods and grabs at his brother’s hands until all of their fingers are twined together.


	10. ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Maybe we should invite him over,” Ed spins on his heel, to face Harry “them over, both of them should come over.”
> 
> Harry shakes his head and says, “No, that would defeat the purpose of us being alone tonight.”

They don’t tell anyone else.

 

It’s a Friday, months after their big ‘coming out’ and Harry still finds it unsettling sometimes to see Ed kiss Niall.

 

They’re official now. Harry and Ed. Well, official as they can be considering their situation. But it’s not really uncommon to see Niall and Ed cozied up to one another at school.

 

It started off as them keeping up appearances but slowly turned into a casual thing. After all, Ed and Niall did still have a thing for one another and Harry still got the satisfaction of knowing that Ed was going home with him at the end of the day. That the taste Niall licked out of his mouth with a ( _disgustingly_ , might he add) heavy tongue that day was Harry’s to own that night.

 

And although he was given the permission to do so, Harry himself doesn’t really mess around with anyone else. He’d fooled around with a couple girls at a party once, a pair of _twins_ he remembers, and maybe that’s a kind of thing now. Something he didn’t know he had an affinity for before he and Ed became an item. Other than that though Harry tends to abstain from anyone who isn’t his brother.

 

His _twin_.

 

The boy bounding toward him down the hallway with the same exact grin in his face that he’s sure he’s sporting.

 

“Harry!” he exclaims and wraps his arms around him in a tight hug.

 

“Hey Eddy,” Harry replies, burying his face in his brother’s curls, his own tucked away into a beanie he’s sure is actually Ed’s.

 

“So we’ve got the house to ourselves tonight,” Ed says with a red tint to his cheek that Harry would devour if they weren’t in a crowded hallway at school.

 

Louis squawks and pulls away from where he had Liam pressed up against some innocent students’ locker. “None of that,” he says. “I don’t want to hear about what you two get up to when we’re not around.”

 

“It’s bad enough we have to hear what goes on when we _are_ around.” Liam says and Louis whoops in agreement.

 

Harry pulls away and rolls his eyes. “This is coming from the two of you who were just snogging in public,” he points, “which I am shocked Liam Payne, you’ve changed.”

 

“Yeah well you know, Louis’ a bit of a bad influence.” Zayn says appearing literally out of nowhere, somewhere behind Ed who nearly jumps out of his skin.

 

“I would take offense to that but its true so,” Louis shrugs.

 

“Where’s Niall?” Ed asks Zayn and its a testament to how far they’ve come in their relationship that Harry pointedly doesn’t react.

 

Zayn shrugs, “I don’t know. He’s probably somewhere with Justin, I suppose.”

 

Ed does tense at that though and Harry lays a hand on his shoulder.

 

Justin is a transfer student from Canada with a very vocal crush on Niall although Harry doesn’t have it in him to tell his brother than Niall clearly only has eyes for _him_ because he’s a selfish bastard.

 

“Maybe we should invite him over,” Ed spins on his heel, to face Harry “them over, both of them should come over.”

 

Harry shakes his head and says, “No, that would defeat the purpose of us being alone tonight.”

 

Gemma’s gone to visit their cousin up north for the weekend and their mum has to work the night shift at the hospital. Normally that’d be their perfect chance to have a lads night and sit about getting trashed without worrying about their mum complaining but it’s Liam and Louis’ anniversary. They’ve been together for months, maybe even years Harry’s lost track to be honest, but he does know that they always go out and do old married coupley things which is quite alright with him.

 

Zayn has to babysit his little sisters which works out perfectly because neither of them would have the heart to tell him he couldn’t come over if he asked, not that he would anyway. Niall had agreed to tutor Justin in Spanish as per Ed’s request and they were meeting up after school to study.

 

So that means a quiet night in with just Harry and Ed and maybe a nice album playing in the background for ambiance. Harry has it all planned out, they just need to get home first for it all to work.

 

“Come on,” Harry tugs at Ed’s hand.

 

Louis perks up at that. “So long lads! You two don’t do anything we wouldn’t” he smiles cheekily and Liam’s eyes go wide.

 

“Well that’s not much,” Zayn mumbles and rolls his eyes as Harry tugs on his twin’s hand again.

 

“Let’s go, Ed.” Harry says and he is aware that he is nearly whining, but could honestly care less.

 

-

 

When they get home Ed hasn’t even locked the door before Harry shoves him against it. He presses in close and nibbles along his jaw until Ed speaks up.

 

“Harry,” he wants to complain but Harry silences him with a kiss. “Haz,” he tries again when Harry pulls away but stop short when Harry drops down to his knees.

 

“I’ve been waiting all day to do this.” Harry murmurs against the seam of Ed’s skin tight jeans that may or may not be his. “I’ve been aching for it.”

 

“Shut up,” Ed says as he pushes his beanie back off Harry’s head and tangles his fingers in his matted brown curls.

 

“Are these my jeans Eddy?” Harry asks anyway as he pops the button and undoes the zip. He nips at the exposed skin of his brother’s waist when he pulls them down to pool around his ankles. “Are these my pants too?”

 

Harry doesn’t give Ed enough time to answer before he tucks his fingers into his waist band and shucks them down to join his jeans. He grabs his dick with the palm of his hand and strokes him languidly.

 

“Harry,” Ed warns and Harry knows that’s a ‘ _get to work_ ’ kind of voice paired with a ‘ _quit playing around_ ’ bordering on desperate kind of wild look in his eyes, so he complies. He licks a thick wet stripe up the underside of Ed’s dick and smiles contentedly at the guttural moan he lets out.

 

He presses a calloused thumb to the head of his dick and laps at it, little kitten licks until Ed is trembling under his touch and tugging at his hair. “C’mon,” he guides and presses down on the crown of Harry’s head until he’s got his mouth around him.

 

Harry swallows down his dick and lets Ed hold him down until he’s got his nose pressed to the course little hairs at the base of Ed’s belly he even hums appreciatively because if there’s one thing Harry loves doing its giving head. Specifically giving his brother head.

 

His twin.

 

Just the thought has Harry moaning as he pulls back and swallows back down, Ed just as loud as keeps a hand in his hair, jaw gone slack from pleasure.

 

“Love you,” he pants and Harry just nods. He doesn’t reply until moments later when Ed has come and he swallows down thick.

“Love you too,” Harry says as he tucks Ed back into his pants. “Love you the most, forever.”

 

He tugs his jeans back up around Ed’s waist and pulls them over to the couch flops down half on top of him half next to him as he sighs into his neck.

 

“Thank you,” Ed says and nuzzles into the top of Harry’s head. He turns red when Harry looks up at him and Harry thinks that’s cute, that he still gets embarrassed by all of this considering who they are and what they’ve done.

 

“Anytime for you, Eddy,” he says and passes him the remote. Harry doesn’t even complain when Ed puts on one of those black and white films that he doesn’t really care for. Well, mostly because halfway through the film Ed gets a hand down the front of his pants and Harry forgets about _Gone With the Wind_ or whatever it is he’s got on in the background.

 

When it goes off and they’re both about to fall asleep Harry stumbles into the kitchen and attempts to make something edible for the both of them to eat. He settles on toast and cereal which he spoon feeds Ed until he turns his head away and Harry finishes up. They amble upstairs with full bellies and full hearts, fingers interlocked with full intentions of fooling around more when they get to their room, but collapse Harry’s bed as soon as they stumble through the door.

 

Harry wants to do something when he spoons up behind Ed and kisses at the back of his neck. He thinks if he can maybe get a hand on his dick they’ll both wake up but he can’t even manage that. He doesn’t mind though, not when Ed presses in closer and mumbles something before slipping off his glasses and setting them on the bedside table.

 

“What was that?” he asks and it takes Ed a while to answer, he thinks he may have fallen asleep already, but he can feel him talking before he hears it.

 

“This was,” he breathes in deeply, “the best night. Thank you, Haz, I love you.”

 

“The night’s not over yet,” Harry says, “we still have until mum gets home tomorrow.”

 

“Whoever wakes up first has to blow the other.” Ed says and they both laugh because they know Ed’s sure to wake up first.

 

“Deal,” Harry says and musters enough energy to stand and wiggle out of his own tight jeans before flopping back down and pressing in close. He’s still thinks they could’ve squeezed in something else tonight, but doesn’t mind too much when Ed’s breathing evens out into a slow lull in front him and he falls asleep shortly after.

 

 _Tomorrow_ he thinks right before drifting off.

 

 _And the rest of forever_ he remembers and smiles in his sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end! Wow it's been nearly a year since I started this fic. It took entirely too long, but I like the way it turned out. I hope you all do too!!! If you got this far, I love you. And thanks for reading.


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